From the Outside - Just Sayin'

Don’t get me wrong- I'm a fan of Alicia Keys, but c'mon,

I know some people search the world/To find something like what we have/I know people will try/Try to divide something so real

Or Akon’s,

I feel 'em hopin' and prayin' things between us don't get better

Or this,

Everybody believed we would never be/Look at us, up above we are so in love

Okay I get it, you think your special friend is so great. You are in so much love your heart just bursts with the slightest thought of this someone.

I get it, her laugh is cuter than any other females’ (and definitely any other males’) guffaw. That mole on his left calf, gorgeous. The way she forgets to return her library books all the time, adorable. And his tendency to trim low bushes when pulling out of parking spots, how much sexier can a man get? But is your partner really so great that you need to compare yourself to those “less in love” or those who don’t know “your kind” of love in order to feel even better about your choice? Self-satisfied much?

It’s like when you boarded the Love Express the sweet-talking conductor told you everyone else on board secretly hated each other: you two were the only true lovers. Those two giggling heads? No they are not enjoying each other’s company, see they are simply reading the world’s funniest joke book. What, kissing? That poor lady ran out of lipstick, so had to borrow some from the nice gentleman. Mosey along now*, and please feel like you own this train, special lovers.

Call me a syntax nazi, but a more accurate way to describe your new-found fairytale is to say that there ain’t no greater love for YOU. You. And the other person. And say so simply, without implying that everyone else is not as lucky as you, of course jealous, and out to destroy your love. Robin Thicke gets it right,

‘Cause you and me, you’re my sweetest love/I got the sweetest love there ain’t nothing sweeter/I got the sweetest love ain’t nothing beating it

And that’s how it’s done thanks.

*phrase copyrighted to the Twitterowl

Historical Poetry Collage

Don't give the black man food
give the red man liquour;
red man fool
black man nigger

Give the yellow man tool
make him railroad builder;
also give him pan
make him pull gold from river

Give black man crack, glock and things
give red man craps, slot machines

* * * *

Black will not be asked to get back,
brown can stick around;
yellow will be mellow,
the red man can get ahead, man
and white will embrace what is right


"American Terrorist" - Lupe Fiasco & "Benediction" at President Barack Obama's Inauguration - Rev. Joseph E. Lowery

THUNK!

Oh sweetheart. THUNK!

For those familiar with onomatopoeias, WACK!, POW!, or COCKDOODLEDOO! should easily RING! a bell. The beauty of onomatopoeias rests in their expressive tonality, but largely so in their conveyance of purposeful action. Comic books stuff themselves with epic fights and sequences: very evil-doers get knocked out, stuffed in a sack, and shipped to prison on the island (I hope the onomatopoeias are playing in your head, right down to the sail boat’s very loud TOOT!); one unfaithful boyfriend is dismissed courtesy of a pack of toothy bloodhounds. In its variety, onomatopoeias explain many actions, even the stop-dead-in-your-tracks ones, like SNAP!, CRASH!, or as my interest here is, THUNK!

Most THUNK!s accompany a sudden, heavy, dull impact-- a dropped backpack on the gym floor, a small sparrow on the windshield. My THUNK! is an action of unbalanced heart-mind proportions. THUNK! is exclaimed when I wonder where in the world my heart has gone to, putting my head in charge. I hear the THUNK! because my ears are turned inward, and all I hear is a version of a babbling brook, but after a while, I come to a fork in the stream, observe a bunch of stepping stones in the water, and wonder why I’ve been running and where this stream is going. The noisy brook runneth over is THUNK!; the heart in hiatus is THUNK!.

THUNK! is a very plentiful no-man’s land (I prefer no man’s land to no person’s land), and waking up in the world of THUNK! is usually a rather confusing and disorienting experience, like spinning around with your forehead to a baseball bat for five minutes then very quickly having to bend down and tie your own shoelaces. Then again, that ceased spinning, and the quick grounding, brings me to-- and to want to-- dispel the THUNK!... KAPOW!

Commercial Calendar

A non-exhaustive guide to the commercial seasons (Canadian version) and its natural foliage and fauna changes to boot. If you had missed any number of these in the past, don't despair. The calendar is wholly cyclic, so next time you are browsing your local stores be sure to pay very careful attention to recurring themes in decorated displays for clues as to which month you are currently in.

* * * *
Chinesenewary- Dozens of hanging bright red lanterns sown through with yellow thread dangle above your head like exotic mistletoe; firecracker models, toiletpaperrollesque. Cartoon representations of the Chinese Zodiac animal and bright red Chinese lucky banners pasted right on your paper place mat.

Valenturary- Everything is shaded in red, pink and white, and laced. The only relief is in the chocolates, and FAX ME and MAYBE! Valentine candies.

Eastarch- It's a busy season for bunnies, since they are commissioned to round up all the sheeps from the pasture and chicks from the pen. It's the rare occasion where Easterch bunny comes out of its egg-producing hibernation.

St. Pattarch- One of the easiest times to track down your lucky four-leaf clover, but watch out for the nifty little belted leprechaun in the green felt, he gets feisty when guarding the gold. You can just find your own, at the end of a stubby rainbow.

Motheray- Overblooming of carnations, since they probably feed off fertilizing four-leaf clovers, lucky for nurturing females?

Fatherune- Busy season for silkworms, who spit and spin their overtimes' worth of material to translate into endless racks and rows of silky smooth ties.

Canaduly- Fiery maple leaves on your face, check now for any.

Schoolust- More stationary than just one pen holder could contain. Backpacks and ripped-open pencil packages spilling into the produce isle.

Hallowe'enber- Deliberately messy, black, orange, green goo, and white sheets. It's time to grin back at pumpkins, and suspend belief for severed body parts or anything else feigning as spooky. Really gives you a stomach for the candy that's everywhere, sometimes stuck to your bulk package of toothpastes.

Thanksgiver- Go liberal on brown turkeys and a large horn with harvest coming out of it.

X-ber- Listen for incessant jingles and bells, the quick flickering of candles, and the emptiness of ribboned boxes, all crowned by a jolly bellowing blushing Santa, courtesy of Coca-Cola genius.

Newil- Anything sparkly goes.

Vouching for a Comeback

What's white, brown, looks like lasagna, and tastes better than ice-cream itself? According to a news release, Unilever Ice Cream has reintroduced Viennetta into the U.S. as of October this year. Big shocker. And a good one. Remember the gang of hand models jousting each other for that last slice of vanilla ice-cream dessert-- the kind that's wavy all over and has little chocolate layers in the middle?


That I know of, a local Asian supermarket was one of the last places selling Viennetta instore. There's also a miniture version of Viennetta in Hong Kong where it comes in a plastic cone. I was prone to reminiscing about this dessert once every few years and could not believe it when a random search returned this news. The product was pulled from North American shelves sometime in the early 2000s, but the company has "realized" the immense popularity of this treat and decided to bring it back into stores.It's good news for ice-cream lovers in the U.S. while Canada is naturally, still waiting. Unilever Ice Cream receives suggestions for reintroducing Viennetta to Canada here.